Make Your Bed

When I was 26 years old I met a women who helped me get my life on track. Before then I don’t think it ever was. I don’t think I ever really knew where I was trying to go. We would speak every day, sometimes lots more than that. She was soft spoken and caring and I listened to her words like they were gospel. This women taught me to be kind to my body, to speak lovingly to myself, she taught me to sit still instead of act out, and how to take small steps when building a life. She told me to wash my face, to brush my teeth, to take a shower, and to make my bed.

Making my bed was what first made me feel like I was able to begin taking care of myself. Making my bed meant I would have a proper resting place at the end of my day. Making my bed meant taking pride in my space and eventually believing that a clean and safe home was what I deserved.

Picking and buying bedding that felt like a warm hug, that made sleeping feel deeper and mornings easier was sacred. Washing those blankets and sheets and making my bed became ritualistic. Spending time in bed now makes me feel comforted, recharged and whole.

Mine and my besties favorite thing to do is order take out, laugh until our cheeks hurt and then crawl into her giant bed to watch a show and fall asleep together. It’s the closest I feel to her when we leave our worlds at the kitchen counter and go upstairs to warm the bed with our tired bodies, full bellies and overflowing hearts.

In the morning we sip coffee and sleepily giggle and yap before getting on with our days.

I dream of my belly as a home, a safe and warm nest for a baby to live and grow.
I would carry it around inside me and feel it moving and know it’s in there. I would watch my belly grow so big and I would walk real slow and my husband’s arms would just barely wrap around me and he would whisper into my skin and kiss my bump and promise to always be here and I wouldn’t know if he was telling me or baby or maybe the both of us and we’d all just be one giant cellular energetically bound family.

When baby is ready I would watch it come into this world and sleep peacefully at night in the softest little bed an angel could ever feel. I would watch the baby blink its big brown eyes quickly when my lips came close to its little face and giggle with light when the kisses left its cheeks a little wet and baby would be warm from love and soft and whole and full of breast milk.

At night I dream and those same dreams form into thoughts and big hopes and then again into dreams at night, sleeping peacefully in the bed I made because I matter and care about caring about me and this precious blessed blissed little life. And I hope you are taking care of you and each other and making your beds - always. xo